So members of my 30 day Copywriting challenge wanted me to do a break down of one great sales letter for them...
I asked them to pick one by unanimous decision, and after 24 hours, the verdict was in...
"The Amazing Health Secret of The Oldest Person in The World"
By Sir Gary of Halbert!
And so that evening, at 7pm..... I began... and here's how I broke it down...
I hope you learn a thing or two...
So the first thing I want you to keep in mind is this...
*As a Copywriter, you will do a bloody marvelous job when at first, it doesn't seem like you're trying to sell anything*
And true to it, Gary Halbert starts this sales letter by telling a compelling story.
To his reader, he's not here to sell a health product.
Instead, he's telling the story of hoe the most famous church in England holds the secret to long life and superb health.
He links it to the oldest person in the world, Thomas Parr.
Now he has your attention.
Your buyer's resistance is down 50%
Very clever selling tactic.
Big idea is: Health Secret of The Oldest person in the world.
Sounds simple, but from the angle of storytelling, it's very compelling and carries a hidden big promise that the reader perceives upon seeing the headline.
Unique mechanism; Clean colon
Which he ties in with Thomas Parr's long healthy life.
This is the hook.
The 1-2 punch subheading about the Church.
1-2 punch because:
It is curiosity driven
It promises a big benefit that every human being secretly desires.
Proof is very important in Copywriting.
You have to give your reader proof beyond reasonable doubt to believe that;
- You know what you're talking about
- You have the vehicle that will safely take them from where they are to where they want to be
And that's what Gary does here
First he gives u the background of Thomas Parr... How he married his first wife at 80... And fathered his first child at 130+
You may think this is irrelevant
It is not.
Gary's deliberately breaking buyer's resistance.
Notice Gary didn't just mention Doctor William Harvey
He emphasises that he discovered the circulation of blood.
A historical medical feat
And again, he ties it in perfectly with the importance of having a Clean colon like the oldest man in the World
Now, at this point
Gary knows he has your attention (He's done this by applying the hypnotic power of great storytelling)
But he knows that to make you receptive to a solution
He needs to trigger a powerful emotion
In this case
Fear is the most powerful emotion
If he has simply jumped into the sales pitch after telling you the story, you'd have easily lost interest.
Gary used fear as an effective transition into his sales pitch
And boy did it work!
But before he jumps into using fear....
He further establishes credibility by using a historic quote from a Nobel laureate winner
Notice his Diabolic Choice of words.
Every word is chosen Carefully to instill the fear of God in you.
To make you scared to Death.
He gives you an exhaustive list of common everyday symptoms that you can easily relate to and start thinking:
*Oh shit, my colon must be toxic right now, I need a solution right now*
Do you see how easily Gary transitions into his sales pitch and how it just makes sense to the reader at this point?
Take note of this.
Your sales pitch should make sense to your reader...
It must flow with the Big idea behind your letter.... And it must feel like a natural conversation between two real human beings who want the best for each other
Now.. of course....
Gary isn't done using fear on you
He tells you there's a way to get rid of all these deadly diseases that could shorten the span of your days on Earth!
He hits you where you live.
Now, he introduces the product.
And makes the Big promise of how this Ultimate Colon Cleanse Program works Miracles on your Colon
He emphasises that you're not doing anything stressful or going on any diet
No such thing.
Remember, the more work your product takes away from your prospect, the more willing they'll be to buy from you
Notice the deliberate use of the word safe across the bullets
Again, not a coincidence
Gary knows the importance of making your prospect feel safe to the degree that she's willing to try the product
Notice number 2.
Gary says these herbal ingredients have been in use for thousands of years.
So you can feel rested believing it's safe for you too.
The bonus product may seem like it's not appealing.
But it is.
When u consider that it ties in perfectly with the offer.
In fact, it's a no brainer and your getting it for free with every order you place.
The Money-back guarantee.
Rule of thumb.
Gary knows that.
And above all.
This is something most health marketers don't do and it has a huge negative impact on their conversion rate.
Gary signs off with the name of a real human being behind a real company.
This ends the letter on a strong note of believability.
Keep this is in mind when you're writing your own sales letters.