12 x 14 x 20

You remember what I told you yesterday morning?

At the end of my email, I said something to the effect of....

"Some women are funny, I'll give you gist tomorrow (or later this evening, if I'm led) If I'm not led, the gist will have to come tomorrow"

And for some stupid reason,

I wasn't led yesterday evening,

But I'm led now...

Please keep this in mind before we start today's amebo

It's something I've said once in my email

And I'm now reproducing it in an expanded version:

"Boundaries. I encourage you to set and enforce them. Even with your spouse, partner, lover or whoever the hell it is you're fornicating with right now"

Why's this important?

Well, why not?

Listen >

Yesterday evening (while I was waiting for the spirit to lead me) I saw my friend's sister's WhatsApp status update,

And she said something along the lines of...

"Date someone who will be kind to you no matter how many times you fuck up"

The joke writes itself.

I don't know about you

But there's no way in hell I'll always be kind to you if you repeatedly disrespect me and take my kindness for granted....

And this brings me to the gist of the day...

Yesterday morning as I was writing my email

I had a flashback to what happened to Mike, one of my good friends in DELSU (Delta State University) back then...

There was this girl, Nora (Fiiiiiiiiiine babe!)

They were dating and he spoiled her silly with money (nothin wrong with that, a man must be allowed to spoil his woman as lavishly as he wants)

One time, She called crying that she couldn't pay her school fees for the new session .... (N50,000)

So Michael sent her the N50,000 instantly,

The next day, she called again crying

This time, her pitch was....

"I withdrew the money and put it in my purse and when I got to the bank, I couldn't find it again, I'm so sorry I don't know what to do. You've been so kind and I don't want to seem like a bother. I'll understand if there's nothing you can do to help at this point"

You see that last line.... ?

The part where she shrewdly said:

"I'll understand if you can't....."

That there, was the killer punch (subtle guilt-tripping)

And of course...

Mike loved her (and she made him feel she loved him too... )

And he couldn't bear to watch the poor girl sink into depression while the deadline for her school fees was fast approaching

So he wired her another N50,000.

10-months or so down the line,

After she had graduated from UNIVERSITY,

She got married to this guy based abroad (I can't remember the exact Country)

Obviously, a better deal for her

Mike had served his purpose well as her ATM machine during uni days

At the time, he was the best deal amongst the lot because for a student,

He had a lot of money to throw around and all she had to do was string along....

Anyway, after Nora got married...

She quickly got pregnant (for her husband) 

And I think she was about 5 months in when, one day, out of the blues....

She rang up Mike at  past 8pm to say she was lonely and she wanted to talk

Women can be funny.

You don't have friends?

You can't set up a SKYPE with your darling husband?

You can't do a Video call with him?

Listen, you may not like hearing it,

But for 99% of women on earth...

Marriage is a business transaction.

I'll tell you why I said so, but first.... 

Here's another story...

So..... back in UNI,

There was this guy (he was the oldest in our clique) we all looked up to when it came to relationships and dating

Baba had been dating this babe from 100 LEVEL to Final year

There was nothing he didn't do for her

And I could swear they were going to get married.

Or so I thought.

After NYSC, while he struggled to get a job

Madam got married to some dude working with Elf Petroleum.

Big boy!

Obviously, a better business deal/transaction than hanging with some Computer programmer still trying to find his feet >

I saw her recently in front of ATWOOL while I was walking back from Domino's Pizza to Ronald's Office in Lekki.... (it's like a 3-minute walk)

I don't know if she saw me but I couldn't care less,

Anyway, I hope you're getting my point?

99% of women who get married don't do it primarily for love

It's a business transaction

And the person who makes the superior offer with the best deal (based on what the woman wants) gets the license to have sexual relations with her for life >>

It's a simple transactiion:

Financial security and full responsibility for me and my family's welfare for as long as I'm married to you,

In exchange for Companionship and sex.

Nothing wrong with that,

You gotta look out for yourself first.

Love won't put food on the table.

And does this mean men are saints??

Are you kidding me?

Men are probably worse.

I just had to lay all of this out so you draw your own conclusions

Stay frosty



P.S: In case you're cracking your brain to understand the numbers in my subject line


That's today's date.

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